I have an email friend who gave me permission to share her story about adopting an older child from Ukraine. She went to Ukraine to adopt a child over 10 years of age.
Friday, Feb 24, 2006
There were several couples in NAC on Thursday. Today (Friday) we went to pick up the referral (at 12 instead of 3) and it was a ghost town. [Translator] says the director is “on vacation”.
My friend and her husband received a referral for a 13 year old “gentlemen”. They traveled on Sunday so they could visit the orphanage on Monday.
Wednesday, March 1 2006
I know that I was led to Ukraine………….. Right now, our boy is so sweet I have a hard time imagining him behaving that way [talking about honeymoon period and behavior that follows]. My husband is much more pragmatic.
advertisementAfter we met and started to communicate through [our translator], he was amazingly open and expressive. They [the orphanage staff] told him [on Friday] we were coming.
He had time to think about being adopted and decided yes. In his words, “No one wants me. No one needs me. … There is nothing here for me.”
Whoa. It is amazing to me how he can be wistful one moment, joyful the next. He has a beautiful smile, and when I catch him looking at us, there is a sparkle in his eyes. We took him out for the day yesterday, to buy a coat (no luck) and have lunch. He took my hand and “helped” me over puddles, up stairs, etc. My little Sir Walter Raleigh. At the Market he stepped up and led us through the maze, advising us to keep our hands in our pockets. He is assertive in public, confident. He speaks to adults easily.
Yesterday when we picked him up, it was break time. The kids all gathered around [my husband] with his electronic translator. [Our translator] had gone to do paperwork.
[Our boy] was right beside [my husband]. I walked away to look at some paintings, and when I came back [our boy] had somehow been pushed to the outer edge of the group. So that is his life.
I walked over and gave him a big hug. I think he wiped away a tear, but was trying hard not to let anyone see, so I pretended not to notice. He used the [electronic] translator to say: “I want there but I wait here.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.
He exceeds [our] expectations.
I cried a little when I first read this story… There are so many older children available in foster care and through international adoption. And for some reason many adoptive parents don’t realize it is an option.
Let me give you some statistics on Ukrainian older child adoption.
Cathy Harris (who helps put dossiers together and hooks adoptive parents up with faciliator/translators) keeps statistics posted on adoptions that she has helped with. From 1998 to 2005, she has helped families adopted 1,176 children from Ukraine. According to the US State Department 5,760 children were adopted from Ukraine during that time period. That means Cathy Harris was involved with 20% of the Ukrainian adoptions for this time period.
I think 20% is a good sample size to look at.
The table below lists the adopted children by their age. Only 5% of the children were adopted at 10 years of age or older. And until everyone gets their post adoption reports in, adoption for Americans will drop 95%.
For anyone who isn’t up to date… Ukrainian adoption is mostly shutdown right now. Ukraine is processing any pipeline cases (dossier accepted and registered) and accepting dossiers for children 10 or older or handicapped children or sibling cases.
A tidbit on the post adoption reports…. The Ukrainian Embassy in Washington DC will start contacting adoptive parents directly for the missing post adoption reports or registration. They have a list and have verified it against NAC data.
More information on this adoption can be found here.